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past words 'If a red-faced slaphead lumbers wearily past you, all words of encouragement will be most welcome .
Some of my fellow slapheads find it hard to come to terms with their baldness, turning to desperate measures such as toupees or sports cars to compensate for their follicle deficit.
Betway quote 5-1 for the disgraced slaphead to "unresign" and serve out his full term as FIFA president.
THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY (12A) Verdict: OLD slaphead is back - and, boy, will you want to slap his head.
The response: "Bad shirt, shoes slaphead " and views from Shearer again.
MEET CHARLIE CATCHPOLE Our new columnist on slaphead Cameron: PAGE 25 Last night's winning numbers in the Lotto main draw are 5, 11, 29, 31, 35, 39.
MARSEILLE have accused Italian slaphead ref Pierluigi Collina of bias after he sent Fabien Barthez off in their 2-0 UEFA Cup Final defeat by Valencia.
And he's even better as scarred slaphead Dr Evil, who travels back in time to steal Austin's `mojo' from his cyrogenically frozen body.
CITY and Sporting both expect Nichola to get the Big Brother heave-ho next week, putting her on top of their indices on the fourth eviction vote, but there is still some scope in a buy of the Lancashire slaphead at 16 with Sporting.
KD, a former dreadlock who'd become a virtual hermit since turning slaphead and, not subscribing to the black and bald is beautiful school, fruitlessly attempted some miracle restorer cream.
FA slaphead Greg Dyke (right) said any bid would depend on Sepp Blatter not being in charge of FIFA - this was after Blatter ruled out any host nation beginning with "E" and ending in "Land".
And despite having a face that "makes children cry", the 47-year-old slaphead got an instant "Yes" from the girlfriend he first met in a Beauty And The Beast production.