come to terms

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Has anyone come to terms with what's cauterized--a psychic as well as libidinal branding/ staunching--during adolescence through response to culture [all kinds]?
Now, most readers of Delie and Microcosme agree that the captivating poetic that Sceve and the reader are trying to come to terms with is that of concordia discors: the harmony of dialectical synthesis (the conjoining of seemingly disparate elements like physical desire and spiritual-intellectual desire).
Watkins's realization that pretense and masking may backfire and merely reaffirm racist stereotypes--"for many of [the white students], the Screaming Niggers remained caricatures, confirmed members of an alien class who, however talented, encouraged and happily acceded to the role of amusing, one-dimensional exotics"--is deferred until the end of Dancing with Strangers, a remarkable memoir of the former New York Times Book Review editor's experiences as a boy struggling to navigate the labyrinth of race relations in the mid-twentieth-century American Midwest and later as a student at an elite eastern university attempting to come to terms with his identity as an African American.