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CASE you've ever wondered what your Chinese takeaway says about you, here goes: Starter platter for two, for one- What do you mean I can't wear my housecoat on a first date?
We stayed in a rundown B&B overseen by an elderly lady in a pink housecoat whose fried breakfast broke new ground in terms of coagulation, and our nights were spent trawling the depths of Blackpool's mid-90s equivalent of Broad Street.
Fancying chips one night, I set to with the Baby Belling and stank out the room so, windows thrown wide on dank November vapours, slept in my fancy quilted housecoat from drapers Ernest Wilson, who once kept working class northerners in undies and nightwear.
Sorry about that, but to be perfectly honest Dot Cotton's housecoat would have as good a chance against our super-middleweight superstar.
When someone jumps through a random window in an office block to get away from the cops, at some point later, when they are long gone, some little old lady with her housecoat on and a pair of Marigolds is having to clear up all that mess.
Particularly if Sharon has just got out of bed, is still in her curlers and housecoat, is cooking breakfast for the kids and is halfway through making sandwiches for Darren?
My grandmother, in her paisley wrap-around housecoat, comes in and dusts the mantelpiece; she lifts the ornaments one by one, rubs them with the yellow duster, and puts them back.
First there is the unavoidable fact that Ms Knowles appears to have forgotten to put her top on, then there's that overall, or housecoat, call it what you will we wouldn't wear it to clean the windows in.
She had just finished putting on her housecoat and now leaned heavily on her walker next to the bed, the breather element in her nostrils, the canister hanging on the walker.
Sarah's auburn hair folded back from her forehead in a stylish wave and she wore a brightly colored, voluminous housecoat.
And when I slip on my housecoat (the better to keep that cabbage and mangle water at bay) it's actually a rather decadent-feeling Japanese-style kimono.