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I believe that for a moment in my childhood I did honestly think I ran a watch factory, that PC Plod was my right-hand man and that Spider was also a fierce Alsatian, at the ready to protect our valuable products from burglars and competitors alike.
Do we really want PC Plod wasting his time looking for guilty puffers?
Wirral-based entertainer John Gorman, erstwhile of The Scaffold and GRIMMS of course, will be there to reprise his infamous PC Plod sketch from cult chaotic 70s children's Saturday morning show Tiswas, while former Frankie Goes to Hollywood star Brian 'Nasher' Nash will perform some of his own songs during the event.
Proving he is no PC plod, Lee has been training twice a week since May and has lost two stone in weight.
Plus there's wit and humour from Brummie Broad, Best of Youtube, Keogh the Cat, PC Plod - and a daily bad joke in Mr Dale's Diary.
Beat The Star is the latest in their new Sunday night entertainment boost (I'd sooner they brought back that weekend episode of Corrie) and last week PC Plod battled boxing champ Amir Khan for pounds 50,000.
Families will have the chance to meet Noddy, Big Ears, PC Plod and Tessie Bear.
How could the bungling deputy chief constable of Grampian Police have become such a successful PC Plod if he hadn't?
He's hitting the baby," they pointed, but PC Plod was more interested in protecting the string of sausages from the crocodile.
PC Plod is still alive and well, living in the dark ages and policing a city, a town or a village near you.
No wonder, then, that the local bobbies turn a blind eye and there's no more likelihood of PC Plod on his bicycle chasing the hunt for evidence of an illegal killing than there is of me mounting a horse and shouting Tally-ho