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I believe that for a moment in my childhood I did honestly think I ran a watch factory, that PC Plod was my right-hand man and that Spider was also a fierce Alsatian, at the ready to protect our valuable products from burglars and competitors alike.
His type of PC Plod is now, thankfully, becoming a thing of the past.
A burly officer - let's call him PC Plod - accused me of causing a disturbance.
Wirral-based entertainer John Gorman, erstwhile of The Scaffold and GRIMMS of course, will be there to reprise his infamous PC Plod sketch from cult chaotic 70s children's Saturday morning show Tiswas, while former Frankie Goes to Hollywood star Brian 'Nasher' Nash will perform some of his own songs during the event.
PC Plod was derogatory, too, so we settled for Constable Walker, but that didn't seem as much fun.
We'll know soon enough whether PC Plod is to get involved.
Proving he is no PC plod, Lee has been training twice a week since May and has lost two stone in weight.
Plus there's wit and humour from Brummie Broad, Best of Youtube, Keogh the Cat, PC Plod - and a daily bad joke in Mr Dale's Diary.
You might have thought that cunning PC Plod would have checked whether Redknapp was in the country before they tipped off a newspaper to capture the moment that the Portsmouth boss was to be bundled into a van at dawn on Wednesday.
Families will have the chance to meet Noddy, Big Ears, PC Plod and Tessie Bear.
Retired cop Bobby Campbell is a champion PC Plod - who's about to notch up 75,000 miles of walking for charity.
No wonder, then, that the local bobbies turn a blind eye and there's no more likelihood of PC Plod on his bicycle chasing the hunt for evidence of an illegal killing than there is of me mounting a horse and shouting Tally-ho