Even if the forgiver
is contemplating the possibility of engaging with the offender again, without the offender's promises for changes through the "three R's," there is no necessary assurance (not an absolute guarantee but a certain level of certainty) that the offender would not offend again.
When one forgives, the forgiver
, without denying her right to resentment, gives up her right to resentment and offers kindness, compassion, and even love toward the offender who does not necessarily deserve such gifts (Enright, 2001).
Consistent with past research, there was some evidence of group differences between the forgivers
and nonforgivers with respect to the experience of reframing and empathy.
More participants, however, agreed with the ideas that the forgiver
can be someone other than the offended (but with a close relationship to the offended) and that the forgiven can be an unknown offender or an abstract institution.
In other words, forgiveness, properly understood, occurs from a position of strength, not weakness, because the forgiver
recognizes an injustice and labels it for what it is.
She found that the responses of forgivers
differed significantly from those of nonforgivers on all but 18 of the items.
Without the possibility of reconciliation with the offender, forgivers
can still heal their own emotional wounds, offer unconditional love to the offender as best as they can, and then as its purpose wait in the hope of reconciliation (which may never come).
A significant challenge is to provide effective forgiveness education so that, by the end of high school, the youth are theologically, philosophically, and psychologically sophisticated forgivers
It was expected that individuals who felt guilty if they did not forgive and those who felt a moral responsibility to forgive would perceive themselves as better forgivers
, whereas it was expected that people who believe that forgiveness causes emotional problems would perceive themselves as less willing to forgive.
The practice of forgiveness: Disciples and forgiven forgivers
Part two consists of three chapters that describe personality traits of forgivers
1981a) writes that if no apology from the offender is forthcoming, forgivers
should conciliate an offender by apologizing and considering themselves responsible for the trial.