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In these real forgiving acts the true Christian values of Jesus stands taller before hatred and violence.
Then, the only option is not forgiving, and that is not healthy either.
Even neuroscientists are studying the biology of forgiveness and exploring evolutionary barriers in the brain that hinder the act of forgiving. Some are even looking to see if there might be a forgiveness gene somewhere in our DNA.
"This study has great application for teaching values, because it shows us what reasons people have for forgiving men and women, and the popular conception of forgiveness", Maite Garaigordobil, co-author of the study and a senior professor at the Psychology Faculty of the UPV, said.
Actually forgiving someone, however, often proves to be more difficult.
But as difficult as forgiving can be, refusing to do so can exact a heavy toll.
Definitions vary when individuals describe what forgiveness is and is not, whether one has to feel love and compassion toward the offender, whether forgiveness includes reconciliation, what facilitates or impedes the process, whether an apology is necessary before forgiving, and the primary focus of forgiveness (Cosgrove & Konstam, 2008; Freedman, 1999; Kearns & Fincham, 2004; Malcolm et al., 2007).
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) WHEN someone hurts you or one of your loved ones, remember forgiveness is the only way to stop the cycle of unfair pain.
The forgiving person need not eliminate all resentment but, rather, must not allow an excess or perversion of resentment to drive out all goodwill toward the offender.
"For a long time I carried heaviness from not forgiving," admits Ilibagiza, the 36-year-old survivor and author of Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust (Hay House; $24.95).
Instead it outlines situations where forgiveness would actually be a bad idea, and outlines alternatives to heal your emotions and to focus on yourself rather than the one who has wronged you--and how to forgive yourself for not forgiving others.