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As I perused the dinner menus on a Monday, traditionally one of the slackest services for restaurants, I was sandwiched, albeit very comfortably, in some period furniture, between two sets of American couples.
Sunderland's inability to beat a poor Portsmouth side was possibly their slackest performance to date under Bruce, although the Black Cats boss knows his team should still have won the game.
Collins' warm welcome on his first return to the Upton Park was a far cry from the hostile reception Nigel Reo-Coker received, but the former Hammers defender was equally generous in his slackest performance so far in the claret and blue of Villa.
You couldn't even wear them in the slackest wellies.